Hello there, welcome!
Before we get into some future topics, here is an abridged version of our story.
(Written in 2017, updated 2022) Eleven years ago, we were a normal family living normal family life. My husband Jeff and I have three children and live in the same town where I grew up. We had a busy, normal life like many of you — school, homework, sports, were active in a local church, had friends, celebrated holidays, and made plans.
But in 2011, our lives changed abruptly.
Our then 12 year old son, Carson, fell suddenly and violently ill with severe digestive illness. In a matter of weeks he went from a strong, happy, vibrant child to a pale, thin, weak boy suffering with unrelenting extreme pain. Over the last eleven years we have done every single kind of medical and natural treatment possible. We have took him all over the country and pursued everything we could to restore his health.
We’ve lived in the hospital for 23 hospitalizations in total, some of them months long. He carries seventeen diagnosis… Crohn’s Disease, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, Eosinophilic Gastritis, Eosinophilic Esophagitis, Delayed Growth, Chronic Anemia and severe Osteoporosis to name a few. Many months we’ve used feeding tubes to give him broken down elemental baby formula to survive. For two years he received his nutrition intravenously 24/7. He no longer has a large intestine.
I cannot express in simple words the devastation that our lives became. For years I watched my son continually starve to death. The desperate dark places of my exhausted emotions and the constant trauma almost destroyed our marriage and family.
But it didn’t. Here’s where the story starts to get better…
In my condition of despair nine years ago, God’s light began to break though my darkness. I became desperate for Him, driven to understand our situation in the context of His life and His word. He started to take me on a long, painful, glorious journey. While our physical situation was still horrific every day, I began to see things from a different perspective, one that was filled with hope.
It was a FIGHT. It is an act of war to choose hope when all of life is telling you there is no reason for hope. (If you would like to read more about how I fought my way out of the darkness, you can find that in two parts, Part 1 and Part 2. Some of you are in this place right now.
I knew that Carson would not always be sick even though doctors consider his diagnosis’ incurable and lifelong. God told me from the very beginning not to believe what we heard. We’ve worked hard to not take on the labels that doctors wanted to give him. By this I mean yes, physical diagnosis’ exist but are not allowed a position in our minds over the voice of God. I don’t believe that just because a doctor says something is true, it automatically is. While I’ve known that Carson will be well again, everything in our physical circumstances continues to scream the opposite. Maybe those on the outside think I am simply in denial. All I can say is our faith is strong in what God has promised.
God will meet you where you are, if you take a step towards Him. His heart is so full of love for all people. He hears you. He sees you.
The subjects I write about may not appeal to everyone, I get that. The years of pain have brought me to the place where I have little tolerance for meaningless conversation or trivial subjects. Long term suffering has that affect on you.
I promise you that I won’t write unless I am compelled by Him. When the Spirit is involved, words carry a power and a weight. I can discern when words come from people who have spent time with Jesus, and would never offer anything else.
Developing a close relationship with Him is the most important journey you can ever take, the most fulfilled you will ever be, EVERYTHING else pales in comparison. This is available to every single person on the planet.
I live both completely heartbroken and full of hope. Those two things can coexist.
BUT, you definitely want to stay nearby for the rest of our story. There are amazing things we know that God has told us are coming. Carson will be completely well again, and he has a future. Carson believes this completely and without reservation too.
I’m honored to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to be here.