Hello there, welcome!
Before we get into some future topics, here is an abridged version of our story.
(Written in 2017, updated 2022) Eleven years ago, we were a normal family living normal family life. My husband Jeff and I have three children and live in the same town where I grew up. We had a busy, normal life like many of you — school, homework, sports, were active in a local church, had friends, celebrated holidays, and made plans.
But in 2011, our lives changed abruptly.
Our then 12 year old son, Carson, fell suddenly and violently ill with severe digestive illness. In a matter of weeks he went from a strong, happy, vibrant child to a pale, thin, weak boy suffering with unrelenting extreme pain. Over the last eleven years we have done every single kind of medical and natural treatment possible. We have took him all over the country and pursued everything we could to restore his health.
We’ve lived in the hospital for 23 hospitalizations in total, some of them months long. He carries seventeen diagnosis… Crohn’s Disease, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, Eosinophilic Gastritis, Eosinophilic Esophagitis, Delayed Growth, Chronic Anemia and severe Osteoporosis to name a few. Many months we’ve used feeding tubes to give him broken down elemental baby formula to survive. For two years he received his nutrition intravenously 24/7. He no longer has a large intestine.
I cannot express in simple words the devastation that our lives became. For years I watched my son continually starve to death. The desperate dark places of my exhausted emotions and the constant trauma almost destroyed our marriage and family.
But it didn’t. Here’s where the story starts to get better…
In my condition of despair nine years ago, God’s light began to break though my darkness. I became desperate for Him, driven to understand our situation in the context of His life and His word. He started to take me on a long, painful, glorious journey. While our physical situation was still horrific every day, I began to see things from a different perspective, one that was filled with hope.
It was a FIGHT. It is an act of war to choose hope when all of life is telling you there is no reason for hope. (If you would like to read more about how I fought my way out of the darkness, you can find that in two parts, Part 1 and Part 2. Some of you are in this place right now.
I knew that Carson would not always be sick even though doctors consider his diagnosis’ incurable and lifelong. God told me from the very beginning not to believe what we heard. We’ve worked hard to not take on the labels that doctors wanted to give him. By this I mean yes, physical diagnosis’ exist but are not allowed a position in our minds over the voice of God. I don’t believe that just because a doctor says something is true, it automatically is. While I’ve known that Carson will be well again, everything in our physical circumstances continues to scream the opposite. Maybe those on the outside think I am simply in denial. All I can say is our faith is strong in what God has promised.
God will meet you where you are, if you take a step towards Him. His heart is so full of love for all people. He hears you. He sees you.
The subjects I write about may not appeal to everyone, I get that. The years of pain have brought me to the place where I have little tolerance for meaningless conversation or trivial subjects. Long term suffering has that affect on you.
I promise you that I won’t write unless I am compelled by Him. When the Spirit is involved, words carry a power and a weight. I can discern when words come from people who have spent time with Jesus, and would never offer anything else.
Developing a close relationship with Him is the most important journey you can ever take, the most fulfilled you will ever be, EVERYTHING else pales in comparison. This is available to every single person on the planet.
I live both completely heartbroken and full of hope. Those two things can coexist.
BUT, you definitely want to stay nearby for the rest of our story. There are amazing things we know that God has told us are coming. Carson will be completely well again, and he has a future. Carson believes this completely and without reservation too.
I’m honored to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to be here.
–Bryn
18 Comments
Mrs. Sellers,
I’ve never personally met you or Carson but I taught preschool at Bethany when Carson first got sick. I kept informed for a while via Linda Felty.
I’ve been continually praying for your family and promise to continue.
My name is Sheree. I’m from and live in Oxford.
Thank you for sharing your blog. God Bless you.
Sheree, thank you so much for your faithful prayers for us. We are so very grateful.
Bryn,
As I read your post I feel broken-hearted, I feel compassion, I feel faith. Your words are full of Gods love and your trust in him shines through your words.
Know that you are not alone in your prayers for Carson. He is in my thoughts and prayers frequently. There have been nights I have woke and just couldn’t go back to sleep until lifting his name up to God for healing. God is good, all the time and I too believe Carson will be healed. I feel deep in my heart that God has such plans for him. I am praying continually until you are through this valley of pain and Gods glory can shine through for all to see. Keep believing.
Tammy, thank you so much. We are amazed that so many have been praying for such a long time. Grateful!
Hi Bryn,
I’m at church tonight waiting for my AWANA kids to come upstairs. Meanwhile I’m catching up with your blog and listening to the little Sparkies saying their verses….”Be strong and of a good courage….” ❤
You have always been one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known. This journey will be used to encourage others and show Jesus. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Bryn,
I can tell you God takes us down very different paths in his attempt to mold us and to grow us into what he wants for our lives. At times I used to get stressed, depressed, even angry at how our finances went from that of over abundance to dire need at times. We went from a six figure salary and abundance to unemployment for two years, foreclosure of our home, and losing pretty much every earthly possession. Then my appendix ruptured and I wound up in emergency surgery and another $40,000 in debt because we couldn’t afford health insurance. I’m pretty sure God will move in our lives and restore us financially, but through our trials I have found that I just don’t care about those things any longer. I don’t stress when we don’t know where the rent payment is coming from because I have a huge abiding faith in God that I could never have found without going through what we have experienced. So then we reconnect on Facebook after not hearing from each other since grade school and I hear your story. I think, “God thank you that all I have faced is financial hardships”. My whole family is pretty healthy and have never experienced anything close to what your family has and I hope I would come through it with the same grace and faith that you all have exhibited. I want you to know that I believe in the power of prayer and have seen God do miraculous things through my prayer life. I was a fervent prayer warrior for Carson for many months, and for some reason he just fell off my radar. This blog reminded me that I need to renew my prayers for Carson and your whole family. God is always faithful. Always.
Gary, great to hear from you! I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and I understand outlandish medical debt. I love your testimony of eternal perspective.
I have been reading your blog. We are a missionary family living in
Peru. We have a prayer board in our home and Carson has been added to the list. Know that, although we have never met, there are people around the world lifting up Carson and your family in prayer each morning.
Oh WOW, thank you SO much. Do you know Stephanie Pace then? She sent us some cool Peru shirts last week. ????
No, sorry to say we do not.
Dear Bryn, Thank you for writing this blog and your honesty. The way you are walking through your suffering will help others see the goodness of God in spite of what their circumstances look like. I am sure of that. My husband and I are friends of your parents and have prayed for Carson since we first heard. We, ourselves, faced 12 years of life-threatening circumstances surrounding one of our children. We never knew when we would get a call telling us the worse. But through that time, God’s grace brought us to the place in our love and relationship with Him that whatever the outcome in this world, we knew He was always doing something good. Our trust in His love for us and our children became greater than what we could see. The night was impossibly dark with no hope in the natural. But today 6 years after that twelve years ended, our child has a testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness, has a gratefulness for how she can now help others because of her suffering that is something beautiful and amazing to see. For six years God has used her to bring hope and to save lives (literally) around her. We are grateful to hear that God is helping you to love and trust Him in the midst of the fire. We are grateful to hear of Carson’s faith and trust in God which can only be a gift of God’s grace. We will keep praying for Carson and your family. Our hearts go out to you and though we don’t know you and haven’t met you, we weep with you and stand with you in your battle in prayer.
Linda, thank you so much for your words and your prayers. I believe this will be Carson’s testimony as well. We look forward to meeting you in person. Thank you again. ❤
If you only knew how deeply loved you and your family are/is by my family and that everywhere I travel and speak, I tell folks all about your family and the deep need for full on healing. We pray for Carson by name… we pray for each member of your family. You are deeply loved… each one.
Bryn,. My son two has been suffering with digestive issues for 7 years. Many hospital stays 10 surgeries to remove and repair intestinal blockages and perforations leading to him needing an iliostomy and PICC line to get nutrition and then switched to a Hickman line. Going into 2014-2015 my son only had 6 cm of functioning bowel left out of small and large. He was to the point that doctors told us one more Central line infection could be his last. On November 23rd of 2015 he was placed in the National Organ transplant list as status one which is life threatening and one week later on December 1st we received a call that an organ was found for him and to come straight to the hospital. He received a new small and large intestine on December 2nd 2015 and spent the next 7 weeks in the hospital recovering . Twice he was placed on a ventilator for problem but pulled through and since then has deal with 2 episodes of GVHD which means his new organ is fighting his body which requires more hospital days. He unfortunately is still having digestive issues which doctors cannot figure out and like your son has a lot of pain and spends a lot of time in the bathroom which doctors cannot figure out why. I like you have put everything in God’s hands and feel like we are only handed what God figured we can handle and as parents this is what we are going to do. I hope and pray that your son gets some relief soon. My son turned 21 this past October and like your son doesn’t leave the house much at all. He spent the majority of his senior year of high school in the hospital but still was able to graduate in the top 5 percent of his class with a scholarship for college which he had to give up do to his unknown illness but keeps his head up that hopefully one day he will be able to fulfill his dreams.
Wow Michelle, I hate this for you. That’s quite a lot. I am going to send you an email.
HELLO Bryn, I am sorry it had taken so long to reply. I have been back and forth to doctors with my son trying to figure out what the next step will be in his medical care. Lots of tests being performed.
I would love for you to send me an email.
Dearest Bryn, I’m continually in awe of your family’s faith, I know God has filled your family with strength and perseverance for His glory. I strive to pray each day for healing and restored health for Carson. I believe that God is able and believe one day Carson will be well. I’m praying and believing with you. Your blogs encourage my relationship with Christ and find myself sharing them with others. Thank you for your testimony and sharing your world with us. You and your family are wonderful people and I am blessed to know you.
Bryn, I knew something was going on when I began reading one of your blog articles this morning. And as I read this one, I kept seeing flashes of Carson as he really is. Wondering if I should say anything I reached the sentence where you say Father speaks to you in the shower. And BAM. There it was. He loves the shower with me, too. And I’ve never heard anyone else say that. I think we must talk. My email is faithlivingnow@gmail.com
Blessings today, my Sister.