We desperately needed a new mattress.
For months we had been sleeping on a temporary spare queen mattress on our king sized bed frame, which meant that Jeff’s shins were perpetually bruised from hitting them on the part of the bed frame that was sticking out.
Upon realizing we didn’t have to pay quite as much in taxes this year than we had put aside, finally it was time.
We don’t have the kind of life where we can just go from store to store to try out mattresses. We’ve spent the last five months living out of the hospital an hour away and all the crazy that comes with it. (If you are unfamiliar with our son’s health battle, you can read more here. If you want to read about what the ongoing hospital life is like for us, that’s here.)
So we decided to look up the companies that sell memory foam mattresses in a box. We spent some time reading reviews on a very popular brand, that will now be referred to here as Mattress A. The reviews were good and it seemed like a favorable choice, but I had an increasing uneasy feeling.
I mean, maybe $1200 isn’t a lot of money to some people, but to us it is, and what if we hate it? A mattress is all about personal preference. We might be stuck with a 130 pound waste-of-money-monster-thing to deal with…..
I continued to look at different companies online, driving myself crazy with reviews, pros and cons, YouTube demonstrations, the inner turmoil was building.
Lately when I have inner turmoil over a decision, it’s because God is trying to tell me something and my spirit knows it but my logical mind thinks I am making it all up. I temporarily forgot this about myself.
“I just don’t know, hon.” I said. “I don’t know why, but I don’t think we should get Mattress A. I think we are supposed to get Mattress B.”
Mattress B was from an obscure company on the west coast with only a few available reviews. It didn’t make sense that I felt this way.
Jeff’s immediate answer cut through the turmoil, like a lightning bolt. “Usually when you feel this way, you are always right, and I know better than to go against it, so just order the one you think we should get.”
Bam. As soon as he said that, I heard the Holy Spirit: Yes, hello… I am trying to tell you that you won’t be happy with Mattress A. You will be happy with Mattress B. Don’t worry that it’s an unknown company or about the limited reviews.
“Ohhhhh, You care about what mattress we buy!” Well of course He does. He knows the number of hairs on our heads, He knows that in our mid-life our bones and muscles are a little more creaky than they used to be. He knows we are tired and that we need rest and is trying to save us from unnecessary hassle. He knows our needs before we ask, which was good since it did not occur to me to ask Him. Duh.
I promptly ordered Mattress B and felt completely peaceful.
For about 3 seconds. Wait a minute.
Me: “You care about what mattress we buy, while our son suffers 24/7 in his bed in the next room. This earth shattering, constant agony, never ending torment of a situation, and You are only going to speak today about mattresses?” I am tempted to become offended with God.
Him: Yes, and you also know that I am working on that too.
Here is where the rubber meets the road, friends. Here is the moment of decision.
I do know He is working on it, even if I can’t see it. I hate how long it’s taking. I don’t understand it, and I don’t like it. I cry about it every single day.
Can we trust that God cares as much about the big things and the little things? Even when we don’t see Him working, don’t know what the next hour holds, and can’t see a resolution anywhere? Are we willing to be thankful for the small thing we can see Him doing while we wait not-so-patiently for the big thing we are desperate for? Can we decide to not entertain an ounce of offense for what we don’t see happening?
He is working on your huge painful situation. The one that doesn’t seem to be budging. The one that you are tired of praying for. Consider that He also cares about the little things you haven’t thought to ask Him about.
He is not oblivious. He is only good. He is near. He is working on everything.
Look at the lilies and how they grow…and if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? Your Father already knows your needs. (Luke 12:27-29)
By the way, the new mattress is amazing.